Shifty Louts Session 11: The Blonde City, Ciudade Loira

06 Mar, 2026

Players

Monterey od Mecanizio-Manzaza, Redlander Barbarian (Chance), Brother Lump the Accountant Abbot (Phocas), and Frutilla Paon (hireling)

Summary

The Second of Yellowmonth. The Annual Martial Sung Poothers Yellowmonth Sale.

After picking up the cat coffee from the plantation outside Pardon Market, the group decides to cut back west and take the Voidlane Monorail south to the Blonde City, Ciudade Loira, then cut eastward, hoping to find a larger caravan.

Returning around noon, they head to the Voidlane and find the ticket kiosk run by a RD-2 like golem who communicates through printed documents, requesting the number of tickets and if they are travelling with any goods.

Brother Lump debates whether to claim all items, and decides to file the correct amount, as the two 1099 Diamanter employees find the total cost to travel the Monorail to be 450d, an outrageous price for both of them.

Monterey loudly complains as the group leaves dejected. The group watches a semaphore flag carrier-priests align the Voidlane cylindrical structure and watch as it seemingly folds space around it, emitting colors hitherto unknown and blips in and out of reality, seemingly delivering a new batch of people in an instant into Pardon Market.

Before heading southward, Brother Lump finds a printer, one Gauche Grappadora, who can print fancy embossed business cards for 40d for 40 cards, but given the rush order during the Annual Martial Sung Poothers Yellowmonth Sale, the job will take four days.

Brother Lump pays a deposit of 20d and promises to return and pay the full amount. After talks of opening up a PO box and perhaps starting their own shipping business, the two head southward towards the Blonde City.

As evening approaches, the two first encounter long abandoned ranch-style houses upon the periphery, dwarfed by a leviathan blond-cube-like structure upon the horizon, architectural aping the Yellow God’s form itself.

As the group edges closer towards the Blonde City, will-o'-wisps begin to form along the side yards of the abandoned ranch-style houses. Their struthios and ponies whinny and are on edge, as the house-ghosts of the Saffranches materialize, floating heads with their esophageal tracts dangling, some walking backwards with their heads spun around, others crawling like crabs. A disconcerting sight, but the group presses forward, finally entering the first neighborhood.

An airy cloudscrapers of aerolith struts, saffron tiles, cedarwood pillars, and wallskin membranes. The locals float from landing zone to landing zone as Brother Lump and Monteray crane their necks skyward.

Monterey calls them bee-people and asks one where to find an automotel. The Blonder says look around and floats off, muttering something under their breath. Both feel unwelcome in the big city. After some searching, the group finds a Nomobile Yurt System, an approved stay in the BC, off an off-ramp that caters to out-of-towners only.

Giant landcrabs with yurts atop them for 20d/week rents! The group goes to the front desk and meets a biomachanicum slave, a wire-folk who seems friendly enough. Monterey asks if the bath and hot water are DLC, to which the wire-folk say that it doesn’t exist and doesn’t know where to get a bath, considering their situation.

Monterey asks how they will take a bath, to which the wireman says that colony creatures tend to clean up things around here, and points to their wood lice-like creatures consuming the trash and living on the carapaces of the giant land-crabs.

Monterey is apoplectic at the “unsanitary conditions,” at least to Redland standards, but the wireman is in no position to make a change; he just works here. Brother Lump’s more money-minded sensibilities win out an the group inserts 20d into the webbing between the wirman’s fingers for payment. Their yurt is #141. The wireman says that some travelers get together in the evenings for storytelling nights and that polychrome milk products are available to drink on the house!

The group bed downs for the evening and awakes upon the…

The Third of Yellowmonth. The Annual Martial Sung Poothers Yellowmonth Sale.

A sun-drenched day with whistling winds as the group finds the once-full Nomobile Yurt System empty, a dry, empty mood washes over the two. They assume they all left for the AMSPYMS at Pardon Market.

The group heads back into the Blonde City, passing the Rooves, and enters the main district of the city. Upon a grand thoroughfare, a threaded polychrome urban dome rises over the lush, gleaming fields and rivulet waters. A rainbow jewel in any other land, it seems nothing more than a fitting pediment for the cloud-scraping saffron-tiled towers and gilded rooves. It reads in a ticker-tape-like fashion, HELIODOR MERCANTILE STANDARD GOODS, as processions of various company employees enter into it and around it.

The two ogle at the massive size of the city. A Proboscidean trundles by and trumpets a morning hello. It is pulling a massive cart and wearing a Speculative Dynamics miter cap. Monterey trumpets back, and the Proboscidean seems happy and psychially attempts to connect with Brother Lump and Monterey. The young Redlander establishes a connection as Brother Lump begins to bleed from his ears, eyes, nose, and mouth, as another hexagramic coin issues forth from his forehead, nearly dying.

Frutilla jumps into action, taking Brother Lump back to the yurt, rolling up a joint of purple haze, and giving him his spare can of Felix Whizz. Brother Lump issues a prayer to the Yellow God and feels a bit better. Frutilla says he can stay and watch over him, but Brother Lump excuses him to go and keep an eye on Monteray, who has “likely disappeared by now”.

Frutilla promises to find Monteray and speeds off on his Maya Yuga metallic steed. As Brother Lump thinks of his situation, loud music can be heard outside his yurt. A man carrying a loud boom box is standing outside, seemingly waiting around. Brother Lump crawls toward the tent’s flap and asks the man to turn down the concussively loud boombox.

The paunchy, regular-looking man turns to Brother Lump and hands him a business card and introduces himself as Richard Hust, telling Brother Lump that he summoned him here and that he should check out the radio station he’s listening to. Brother Lump soon hears the boombox uttering the voices of Frutilla, Monterey, and others. They seem to be babbling jibberish. Others pass by and seemingly do not notice this loud music.

¹²

Brother Lump is off-put but continues to ask why Richard is here. Richard replies he doesn’t know; Brother Lump is the one who called. The Zealot invites Richard in, and the two dialogue over a joint of purple haze. Brother Lump thinks Richard unreal and says that he’s from hell. Richard replies that the place he finds himself in seems more hellish and that once again Lump is the one who called him, not the other way around.

Brother Lump notices the smoke inhaled by Richards is exhaled through the boombox, and Richard’s hands have turned into crab-like claws. Brother Lump thinks Richard is a daemon, to which Richard doesn’t know what that is and asks Brother Lump what he want considering the rules. Brother Lump asks to find water, and Richard says it's to the south along a river. The two continue their philosophical dialogues.

Meanwhile, back in the BC, Monterey talks to the Proboscidean, who is just as shocked as to what happened to his little friend. Monterey is also surprised, but more interested in learning about the Proboscidean. Monterey asks if he has come from Parden Market and if he’s

Diamante like him. The elephantine tells him he has come from the Greenlands, avoiding the Verdigris Horse Tribes to get here and do some business on behalf of his employer, Speculative Dynamics.

Monterey asks what Speculative Dynamics sells - autonomous devices, foodstuffs, and aerosolized entertainment, replies the Proboscidean. Monterey asks where to find purple haze, but the Proboscidean doesn’t know and has to get to work. Monterey asks where a good place to find food is, and the Proboscidean recommends Shéh Shah, just around the corner, before shaking “hands” adieu.

Monterey finds Shéh Shah to be a premium water-pipe and cat café, moreso trafficked by cats and their pets who tend to strawberry hookahs that swirl smoke tinged with the faint aroma of purple haze. Monterey finds a Russian Blue and begins mindspeaking, asking about the nature of the Blonde City and the reason for the abandoned ranches and ghosts. The cat responds that they were suburbs and folks moved into the city as more resources arrived here.

Of how the Rooves hydroponically grow food stuffs giving that lack of available water, and how trade with the Greenlands and Redlands provides for BC’s needs. The Russian Blue asks Monteray if he is a cool cat, not a dopey dog, as the smelling purple haze gets heavier. Monterey struggles to focus and tells the cat good-bye before asking where people “like him” hang out. The Russian Blue blithely says something about “Al Flogon.”

On his way, Monterey finds the “Al Flogon”, a dingy bar it seems. Outside, their an large autogolem protected by Redland Fedayeen guarding the autogolem. A mustachioed Redlander barks orders to Yellowlander gig workers to load the autogolem faster. Monterey recognizes the Red Tongue writing on the wine bottles, knowing them to be “vampirewine”.

Seeing a Redlander here, Monterey rushes over and gives the long-winded familial introductions of his clan, the mustachioed man responds in kind, introducing himself as Woger de RFD T. Tanz Kompanie. Mopteray asks if he knows about Syr Goira Kujina and the Grace Abounds manse, near Sunset Revelation.

Woger replies yes, being from the RLD along the coast, although he has traveled along the Wine River Valley in the past, he mainly stays in the twin cities of Fixe and Mobile. Monterey asks if Woger is heading eastward, but to his dismay, Woger is heading southward on business to deliver some vampirewine to the “Crystal Lords”. The two exchange typical Redlander good-byes, and Monteray is stopped by a bouncer outside the Al Flogon.

The bouncer thinks Monteray looks like a “wet-cigerette” and that the Al Flogon doesn’t allow “bubble-blowing weenies” inside. Monterey acts all tough with his cat-patched backpack and impresses the bouncer, who lets him in.

Monterey finds a seat at the bar, and the golem Al Flogon asks the kid what he will have. Monterey, never having been in a true bar before, asks for “one beer, please’ and the golem returns with some thin pint of yellow beer for 2d. Monterey struggles to drink it, and the golem asks if everything is alright, sensing his “cortisol” levels have risen sharply upward. Monterey says he’s fine through sputters and coughs. Finally, asking where Redlanders can be found. Al Flogon doesn’t have that knowledge in his programming, but suggests using the viso-screen in the corner. Monterey inserts 1d into the walled screen and finds that there are large congregations outside the city proper (The Bowels Theatrical) in a neighborhood called “The Bycubes”.

Aftermath

Treasure Found:

• N/A

Foes Encountered:

• Richard Hust (a potential daemon?) was called

Rumors:

• The Voidlane Monorail is prohibitively expensive, not for plebian travelers
• The Saffranch Suburbs north of the Blonde City are haunted by ghosts
• The Redlander Woger de RFD T. Tanz Kompanie is heading south of the Blonde City to trade with “bloodwine” to the Crystal Lords
• The Red Land District is a twin city along the eastern coast of the Red Land; the cities are named Fixe and Mobile
• Redlanders within the Blonde City tend to congregate in the Bycubes neighborhood

Deaths:

• N/A

XP Awarded:

• 1,050xp / per player divided two ways.
  • 100xp for reaching the Ciudade Loira
  • 2,000xp for summoning Richard Hust

Notes

• The group plays more into social encounters in this run of SL, compared to the original group
• Richard Hust (Amdusias) is a 20HD daemon 👹
• I will need to figure out what the Bycubes are and some possible encounters 🫡